I’m staring at the snow-covered backyard while writing this, wondering what the weather will be like in a few weeks when this post goes live. It’s interesting how writing is a bit of a time travel experience in that respect. Right now it’s sunny but frigid, with January two-thirds done. When this post publishes, it will be the first day of February.
I’ve been feeling a heaviness settle into my bones. I think that’s why I kept our Christmas tree up so long. The tree kept the reality of a new year at bay until I took down the ornaments and lights, and hauled out to the yard the evening of January 20th.
Now the house looks like business as usual, and the feeling of calm has been replaced with a dull ache. Next week, February 7th, would be Michael’s 64th birthday. I’ve been doing this grief thing long enough to know the melancholy will give way to a mixed bag of happiness and sadness. His birthday is cause for celebration that he was born, and also a reminder that it’s another year we don’t get to celebrate it with him. I miss him more and more as the years pass.
The last birthday we celebrated before Isabella was born, I threw him a dinner party at a Thai restaurant in Chinatown. The name escapes me, and it might very well be shuttered by now as so many places we loved in NYC have closed or changed hands.
The restaurant was near the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory, so I ordered an ice cream cake for him with his favorite flavors, green tea and red bean. I was just about halfway into my pregnancy with her, and remember carrying the cake through the slippery, cold streets of downtown.
Then there was his 50th birthday celebration, which fell on Super Bowl Sunday in 2010. I decided to host it at our Brooklyn apartment, and cooked fried chicken and ribs for 40 people. The Who played halftime that year, sparking my never-ending joke that it took a lot of coordination for me to make that happen.
Fried chicken was one of Mikey’s favorite meals but was also a very health conscious eater, so I think he would’ve loved these crispy chicken bites. They’re a happy compromise, cooked in the air-fryer. Virginia loves them because they remind her of mini chicken cutlets—super thin, tiny and crispy.
I’ve also made whole pieces of chicken this way, with the breast pounded very thin to about ¼-inch thick. My air-fryer is on the smaller side so it means I can only cook one full size chicken cutlet at a time. If you have a larger one, you might be able to cook a few more to save time—or just go with little bites as the recipe is written. They’re a great protein-rich add-in for lunch salads during busy weekdays.
The dipping sauce is my lightened up version of a honey-mustard sauce using Greek yogurt for an added protein boost. Feel free to adjust the amount of honey, adding more to your liking, if desired.
The days are finally getting longer, and sunset is happening after 5:00pm in my neck of the woods—that is definitely worth celebrating. Sending anyone who needs it a big hug. Be well, and remember to be kind.—xo, j.