a birthday

and an unusual cake to celebrate

There’s lots of emotions swirling around my impending birthday. It’s the 14th one without Michael, and in just two more years, I will have outlived the entirety of our relationship, at least the one we shared in this physical world.

This year I’m turning 51—the same age Michael was when he died. He died on his half birthday. We had no idea when we celebrated his 51st that he only had six more months left. What would we have done differently with that time had we known? All of this has really influenced the decisions I’ve made this last year. 

My focus has been on the quality of my life, and changing the things I can control while making peace with the things I cannot. Rather than reflect on what I wish I’d done differently, which is sometimes a monumental task, I’ve spent the last year thinking about what I need to do differently to avoid past pitfalls, a kind of half glass full approach.